Imposter syndrome
Your worst fears are likely correct—you are an imposter and have no idea what you’re doing…But, What the hell—apply anyway #HonestJobAd
— Professor Jaded (@ProfessorJaded) August 2, 2014
Yeah, we lied
Everything we said up until you said yes and signed your acceptance letter was greatly exaggerated or an outright lie. #HonestJobAd
— Associate Deans (@ass_deans) August 2, 2014
Conflicts of interest
We don’t have discipline or methodological divides. All our conflict is derived from personal hatred. #HonestJobAd
— Worse Reviewer (@Worse_Reviewer) July 31, 2014
Family matters
We are supportive of families as long as you’re not a woman and planning on starting one #HonestJobAd
— Kathleen Searles (@kesearles) July 31, 2014
We are very supportive of families, as long as they don’t get in the way of unreasonable demands on your time. #HonestJobAd
— I. Shono Marcee (@SarcasticMethod) July 31, 2014
Travel budget
Our travel budget includes one night in sleeping your car near the conference hotel and TWO granola bars, you pay for parking #HonestJobAd
— Kathleen Searles (@kesearles) July 31, 2014
AltAc
Our last assistant professor left to start a bakery. #HonestJobAd
— Worse Reviewer (@Worse_Reviewer) July 31, 2014
Because coffee fixes everything
#HonestJobAd We’re a pit of sociopathic vipers. But we have an espresso machine.
— Kevin Gannon (@TheTattooedProf) July 31, 2014
Adjunct adversaries
You’re going to lose to a starving adjunct who’s been here for two decades, but sure—we can help you practice interviewing #HonestJobAd
— Professor Jaded (@ProfessorJaded) August 1, 2014
Work-life balance
We pay lip-service to work-life balance issues. Your work is your life in this department. 80 hrs/week is for slackers. #HonestJobAd
— Andrew Robinson (@AndrewR_Physics) August 1, 2014
3-in-1
This position actually used to be three different positions #HonestJobAd
— Brian (@elsrbrown) July 31, 2014